Stereotypical Guinea Shrimp Dish

You will need:

1 lb of medium sized peeled, de-veined (no shrimp shit!) shrimp
1 Airplane bottle of white wine (found in convenient 4-packs at 7-11)
3 tbsp of BUTTER Y'ALL!!! (I won't say the word "butter" unless it's in a Paula Deen accent)
1 lemon
3 Cloves of finely minced Garlic
Half a cup of chopped fresh Parsley
Salt/Pepper
Olive Oil
Angel Hair pasta or whatever you like

- Heat your pan on med/high and just drizzle a small amount of Olive Oil
- When the oil is hot enough throw in the garlic
- Add the butter and the wine and let the butter melt
- Put your shrimp in a bag and season with the salt/pepper. Seal the bag and shake and then toss the shrimp into the pan.
- Add the parsley and the juice of your lemon. For extra flavor you can throw the skins in (no seeds!) just make sure you remove them before you serve.
- Meanwhile you should have boiled water, added pasta, blah blah blah.
- Plate the pasta and using tongs, place the shrimp on top. Then add the remaining sauce over the pasta, garnish with a little more parsley and enjoy.
- Every Italian has their own way of making the shrimp/white wine sauce. This mine because it's easy and tasty and eating shrimp at home makes me feel rich.

Sweet Peach Savannah Salsa, Y'all

You will need:

3 or 4 ripe ass Peaches peeled, de-cored, and diced
3 or 4 Tomatoes diced
1 Red or Orange or Yellow pepper diced
1 Red onion diced
2 Jalapenos gutted (no seeds!) and diced
3 Garlic cloves minced
1 tablespoon of Cilantro
Apple Cider Vinegar
Honey
Sugar
Red Wine Vinegar
Salt/Pepper
Red Pepper flakes

- This recipe is so fun because NOTHING IS EXACT!
- Pretty much throw all this shit into one big pan, bring to a boil and then down to a simmer.
- Keep tasting it to help you decide if it needs more of this or that.
- Once you've gotten everything to the exact taste/textures you want, throw it into a container and let it chill overnight in the fridge.
- PS: I fuckin HATE Cilantro but I only use a teeny tiny bit in this recipe because it really works well with the jalapenos and salsa just tastes naked without it. But if you love it, go nuts. You can also use fresh mint for a refreshing blast that doesn't taste bitter.